Greetings from Billings, MT. I traveled with my Beth Moore groupies to attend the Beth Moore "Living Proof" event in Big Sky Country. How could I have fathomed how much my life would change between my decision to purchase a ticket and the actual event? Initially, I wondered how I would squeeze in the conference while strategically planning the clinic's impending relocation? Then, how could I have anticipated the shock and horror of losing my position at the clinic and wondering if limited finances would interfere with my ability to take the trip?
As I was reminded in the very first session, God ordained every one's attendance. If you have never experienced extreme worship with 4500+ women, I cannot begin to convey it with mere words. To stand shoulder to shoulder, arms raised, eyes closed, lifting songs of praise to our Maker while laying our hearts open before our King transcends earth and takes us into the presence of our risen Savior--right where I needed to be.
Beth Moore confirmed in one session the answer to a question I had refused to answer, "Is it time for me to move?" Unfortunately, I had been an uncooperative pupil. Rather than acknowledging the need for a "time out" due to being overwhelmed, over-worked, weary, and heavy-laden I chose to continue carrying a cross that God was instructing me to put down. (I had entertained the thought of a sabbatical, but could not envision how that was a viable option.) Why should I put down "MY Cross"? MY calling? MY ministry? MY purpose? How could He ask me to let go of something that means so much to me, especially when there is so much work yet to be done? How could he allow something so injustice to happen to me? Could it be that I had shown him there was not enough of me for both him and the clinic, too? I refused to move, so he moved me. I got my sabbatical and he got me.
My once full days are now new found opportunities to see my Savior and to hear his voice. They are no longer muffled by the noise of life. No need to rush~time is a commodity that has been recovered. Yes. my heart is broken. Real regret. Deep hurt. Old wounds. New Cuts. Saving Grace. Redemption Stories. I will continue to meet him in the Secret Place, my heart will mend, my stamina will return, He is in control, I will trust and obey.....
