Who says big girls don't cry? Today would have been Daddy's 62nd birthday. The tears have returned. I am reminded of the many condolences I received after his recent death. So many people shared experiences of losing a parent. I was amazed at how fresh the pain was for some even though many years had passed. Mike Stewart reminded me that worse than losing a parent is the loss of a child. That I can appreciate and my heart breaks for the loss Papa is feeling at this time in his life...the unparalleled loss of his buddy and baby boy. The death of my Daddy has left a gapping hole in many of our hearts whether we called him father, husband, granddaddy, brother, son, uncle, or friend. I know we will have many "firsts" to walk through this year without him. When he shared my wedding day one year ago, I would have never imagined he would not be here to celebrate my first anniversary. Even more difficult is his absence at his and Mom's 42nd wedding anniversary on October 9th. I cannot fathom the depth of her loss. I admire her steadfast faith and her unyielding strength in the midst of one of her greatest storms.

I an thankful for the many, many memories and I am taken aback when they overwhelm me--often with very little warning. Just like yesterday at church. In the midst of the praise and worship I felt my Daddy singing steadfastly beside me as we sang a new rendition of "I Stand Amazed in the Presence" in his deep baritone voice. I can close my eyes and recall him standing tall beside me belting out familiar hymns at First Baptist Church. Now the realization that he is spending is 62nd birthday (and thousands to come) in the holy presence of his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I can only imagine......